Comments on: Spiritual Direction (Part 1): A Vital Practice for Discerning Leaders

By: Mark A. Cheatwood

Mark A. Cheatwood — Fri, 01 Dec 2023 12:10:16 +0000

In reply to Mark Odell. Mark, I really appreciate (and feel I understand) your questions. They are also mine.

By: Mark A. Cheatwood

Mark A. Cheatwood — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 20:06:50 +0000

Please help out an old idealist.

It seems to me that the vulnerability of a pastor (elder) is necessary, even beneficial, to the health of a church. I understand that many churches are not … spiritually mature for such things, but isn’t there a point at which we have to move away from the early 20th century model of “a pastor cannot have friends in his own church,” and move back into having a real, emotionally and spiritually healthy COMMUNITY as a church?

I know I’m being naive… but I’ve seen great damage come from pastors who thought they couldn’t be real, too.

What to do.

By: Ruth Barton

Ruth Barton — Fri, 16 Jun 2023 13:18:34 +0000

In reply to Bev Bartholomew. Great! Praying you find the right person to accompany you in this way.

By: Bev Bartholomew

Bev Bartholomew — Fri, 16 Jun 2023 10:52:30 +0000

I so resonate with the emotions Ruth describes here. The pressure to exhibit “having it all together” for those around you is wearying and I long for a sacred space to be real. But the responsibilities don’t take a break. This encourages me to seek out a local spiritual director. Thank you Ruth!

By: Ruth Barton

Ruth Barton — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 00:41:58 +0000

In reply to Erin. There is so much wisdom in what you have shared here. These are all the reasons why pastors and leaders need spiritual direction!

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 14:19:24 +0000

Thank you for articulating a leader’s deep need for privacy and the very real burden of having our spirituality inextricably linked to our paycheque. In my context, of a small Canadian congregation, I sometimes feel that my congregants desire a level of vulnerability from me that I am not prepared to give.

While I want to be honest and communicate that we are all on the journey together, it is not appropriate to share some of my deeper doubts, heartache and processes with them. Getting up on a pulpit week after week to preach is a scary, “naked” feeling thing.

I need a space away from those I serve where I can really bring all of myself, including the messy, unprofessional, fearful, and doubting parts- and not just for a juicy sermon illustration or counselling insight. I need to be vulnerable with God away from the eyes of my people so I don’t forget that what I preach to others is also true for me: that God longs for me and has good things for me.

By: Brenda Murphy

Brenda Murphy — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 14:13:23 +0000

Thank you for your incredible journey. It made my soul literally jump for joy and hope. The bravery to share and to bare your open and honest conversation really blessed me. Please continue to share your journey with others, we are listening intently.

By: Ruth Barton

Ruth Barton — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 12:16:57 +0000

In reply to Arthur Guina. Yes, spiritual direction is such a different kind of process and relationship that people really do need to be ready. Desperation really is part of that readiness...until we become a bit desperate we will keep ourselves in processes and relationships where we feel like we are more in control. Thank you for naming this.

By: Arthur Guina

Arthur Guina — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 06:31:02 +0000

Thank you, Ruth, for articulating this need so well and being vulnerable in illustrating it through your personal experience. It seems to be an uphill battle given the seeming “slowness” and “non-definitive answers” of this process, but I guess we just accompany those who are ready one leader at a time.

By: Philip Gladden

Philip Gladden — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 13:31:36 +0000

In 2008, I was invited to join a program called The Pastor as Spiritual Guide. Although at the time I felt just as Ruth described in her article, I thought being in the program would teach me how to be a “better” pastor. Instead, I began to learn how to attend to my deepest spiritual needs as a leader (which, I hope, has made me a “better” pastor). I have met with a spiritual director monthly for almost fourteen years. He has provided support, encouragement, a listening ear, prodding, and a safe place for me to explore my spiritual needs as a leader.
Ruth, thank you for your writings and insights.