Full disclosure: I am a young Anglican Rector, have been deeply shaped by your (and Pete Scazzero’s) writings. I am currently leading our Vestry and staff through “Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership,” my own copy tattered from years of returning to it. ie. I’m bought in, and greatly appreciate you and your clear calling.

But are you accidentally (or not) encouraging a gleeful abandoning of “church” (broad term, I know)? I see this possibly reflected in some of the comments below, which makes me so sad. Church is (meant to be) the place where the discomfort of “iron sharpening iron” happens, though I can also admit I get most angry as I see the church (whatever denomination or non-) abuse the high calling, turning “holy discomfort” into abuse. Still, I believe truly healthy church can heal church hurt quite powerfully…perhaps most powerfully.

I’m eager to hear about that book you’re working on — I am hopeful that amidst your challenges, you will re-cast a vision for church that does not untether us from the ancient (and newly being re-discovered) practices it promotes as we follow Jesus on a journey from our brokenness into healing and wholeness.

Respectfully in Christ,
Michael+

PS. I remember you referring to someone’s statement “In Christ, For the World” (and not in the world for Christ)…this has stuck with me so much that I’d love it to be a regular phrase for us, but I cannot find who to attribute it to, nor where you mentioned it! Little help?

What a beautiful and tender story of encounter (with God) and transformation. Thank you for sharing something so precious with us.

“I have wondered for a very long time if the institutionalized church (our current expression of church) is the seed that is going to need to fall into the ground and die in order for it to bring forth new fruit.”

I knew I wasn’t the only one. Oh, God, help.

Several months ago, I sensed, in the middle of a service, that the Lord said to me, “You’re done here.” I hadn’t even been considering that possibility, but there it was. I found myself relieved and ready to walk out… but my love for the man preaching that day told me to wait until the end.

Jump ahead a few months of healing, I was hosting a spiritual retreat for ten friends (a few from my then “former” church), when the Lord all too clearly called me back to that place of spiritual non-transformation. At this point in my journey, I know Him so I stepped right back inside those doors the very next day, though with anger… I simply knew that He had called, and that He would help me through this. Friends greeted me, welcomed me back, and, for those who would understand, I told them I wasn’t happy to be back.

In the next few months, I skipped communion services altogether. I did not feel at home at all. I didn’t “belong here.” Then, I took that feeling to my spiritual director. She simply asked, “What would it take for you to feel at home?”

What a question. As we sat there in the silence, a couple very real things came to me… but I also realized / believed that church wouldn’t get to those places in forty years. So.. I sat with that question for a couple days.

Then, the Lord gave me this utterly simple thing that makes all the sense in the world to me–“You’ll have to carry Home with you.” I knew He had called me back to this place, these people… so there really was only one solution. Like Love and Forgiveness, somebody had to act first. He was calling ME to be the one who helps others to feel at home.

That was a breakthrough for me. In the weeks since, not only have I come to participate in the communion again, but I have had a number of deeper-than-Sunday-morning conversations right there in the foyer, or in the gymnasium/sanctuary before or after the services. As I walk deeper into this, it is so easy for me to remember that, when Jesus is with me, I am always Home.

This church has severely disappointed me, broken my heart… but my love for her is returning with a depth I didn’t possess before… and I’m at peace.

Blessings,

M

These are the questions we much wrestle with honestly in these days. Of course the institutionalized church and the body of Christ can be two very different things. I have wondered for a very long time if the institutionalized church (our current expression of church) is the seed that is going to need to fall into the ground and die in order for it to bring forth new fruit. The church of Christ will prevail but probably not in its current form. Are we humble enough to let the husk fall away so something new can emerge that actually does support and catalyze real transformation and emotional maturity?

I’m wondering so many things.

Is the transformation of an institution possible? Can the work of decolonization cultivate space for silence, rest, and authentic community? Am I patient enough for the slow work of God? Do I believe in what I say I believe — resurrection, new life, mystery?

I’m also thinking about how hard spiritual transformation is and the emotional maturity it requires. Many people are not ready. How can the church till the soil and nurture the seeds? Are we willing to be faithful and wait for God’s harvest?

I could not agree more! I should have been clearer in saying that I had to go beyond my local church and even beyond the tradition I had been raised in to find what I needed next. There are several places in my writing and teaching where I am clear that when I talk about the Church, I am speaking in very broad terms about “the body of Christ on the earth now” and that whenever and wherever Christians gather, we are the body of Christ. Thank you for this important and clarifying comment!

Thanks. We periodically offer a Becoming a Transforming Church retreat for leaders and their leadership groups. You can visit the page and add your name to be notified when the next retreat date is announced.

Thank you for this honest and resonant reflection. I hope you can join a Transforming Community some day where you would both find and be a fellow pilgrim with others on a similar journey.